I'm not so evil after all

" I never got the chance to be your trainee, but I heard a lot of good things about you Ms. Dee."

Reading this post from someone I barely even know made my heart flutter. I know that I have been totally brutal with my trainees when I was still working as a trainer back home 'coz I want them to be excellent in their field. I know I was hated by many 'coz I don't know how to kiss people's asses. I even almost got in trouble with our big boss when I was only passing a few people during interviews. A lot of people were mad at me 'coz of my unbelievable standards. A lot of times it did affect me and all I wanted was to please everyone, but I was also pushed by my one of my supervisors not to lower my standards. I got reprimanded for passing a few people during interviews by our big boss, and I got reprimanded by my direct supervisor for passing a lot of trainees during my class. I was totally confused when I was starting up in my new field. But time, experience, and meeting new people helped me improve my craft.

When I started training people, I barely smile and crack jokes. I was too serious and I honestly scare the hell out of each of my students. I don't exactly know how they were able to get out of my class alive. It took me 14 classes to finally loosen up. It's when I met a bunch of trainees from team Wisconsin where I learned to enjoy my class and be friends with my students. I started getting comfortable with the people I was with and I learned to make jokes in my class. My personality was the most difficult to change 'coz I was always intimidating to people - that never changed even after I left, but the people who attended my class know how much of a clown I am. I have serious moments when I'm teaching, but when I feel like there's tension, I use my sarcasm to make them laugh and it actually works. A few survive at the end of the training class, but I am proud to have passed quality trainees. I have always been proud of my trainees even if they screw up when taking in calls. I am happy to see them mature and get promoted. I give them all the credit for taking that step to become the best in their team. It's great to hear the words "thank you" from some of them even if I know that I didn't do anything to make them get there. That was one of the things I loved about my job - the fulfillment of seeing my students improve and succeed.

So people would always think that I'm intimidating. I intimidate them no matter how small I am and I am totally clueless. I remember standing in front of my class the first day and everybody is like frozen popsicle sticks and it would never fail to crack me up. After giving out my house rules, my craziness would then start. There will still be some who are still intimidated- which is understandable, but most of them would crack jokes back at me which makes the class really fun. Every training class I had was a big stress reliever 'coz I love to be animated in front of them and it's like I'm acting on stage. I would be exhausted at the end of the day, but I still have a smile on my face.

I always thought that 90% of the people I know hate me, but I'm glad that there are people who would go out of their way to let me know that I'm not so evil after all. They just don't know how much those words mean to me. It brightens even the darkest day I have - coz it's raining outside. :)

If I had the chance, I would like to thank all of those who have learned to appreciate my real self, and even those who have always challenged me to become a better person.

Working as a trainer for 4 years and training more than 1000 people in that 4-year period was the BEST job I've had in my entire existence. I'm sure and I know that no other job could surpass the fulfillment and joy I had with those 4 years of working. There was never a day where I would not want to get up 'coz I have a class. I have accomplished my dream job before I reached the age of 30 and no amount of money can replace the happiness I feel every time I know that I have touched another stranger's life even if I'm no longer working as a trainer.

Life is beautiful.

Fact: I was called "Killer Dee" when I was still a trainer 'coz my attrition rate was higher than normal. lol! I was always going for quality over quantity and I never regret maintaining high standards in class. Mediocrity is not the key to success.