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2012


I'm on a standstill. I feel so lost - I have lost myself into oblivion and I don't know if I can find myself again. All I see is darkness - I feel weak and hopeless. When will this agony end? 

 I want to be thankful for the blessings I have received, but the pain and challenges over shadows all the good things that are happening to me. 

 I feel like there's a dark cloud above me that just won't go away. It just sits there and I think it waits for me to feel really down and rain will just pour and wash way everything that I have left - my strength, hope, determination... everything.

 This feeling is killing me. When will the sun shine again? I want to quit. I can't quit. I wish I was a kid again, so I won't have to worry about grown up stuff. Growing up is hard, no one told me it is going to be easy in the first place. Who was I kidding? 

 I have to get out of this rut and be my strong, sure self again. This feeling is tiring. 

 I need that little glimmer of hope. I can't mask my sadness any longer. 


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