I think I am born to be in a place where it's serene. I am a Piscean who would rather sit along the seashore and listen to the waves as I sleep, than be in the party scene. Even as a teenager, I have never loved the crowded places. It makes me sick and paranoid. I of course had my fair share of crazy parties, but I was always wary of how much I drink and how I act in the crowd. I wasn't the wild kid, never was and never will be. For I am already in my late 20's and being in a very crowded place is my least favorite situation to be in.
I am not excited for parties anymore. I am not a big lover or noisy places. I think I am becoming a bore. That's why preferred Davao over Manila - because I just can't stand the crazy streets of Manila and the stress the whole city brings to each individual. A lot of people from my place love to be in Manila, but I would very much trade places if I were given the chance to be in Manila for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong though. I don't want to live in an isolated place where you hear the crickets and dogs. I want to still live in the suburbs - near, but not in the heart of the city. I want a fast paced environment sans the fear of losing your life due to some robbery while waiting for a bus. I think I was wrong when I told myself before that I wanted to live in New York City. I am glad that I was brought to a place where it's more like Davao City where you can still walk along the city sidewalk without getting shot or something to that extent.
Yesterday, we went out to watch the Magic game at the Wall St. Plaza, it was fun, but as everyone were under the influence of alcohol, the crowd went crazy. I think the party would be boring if everyone was just like me - hating the getting drunk part. I felt like I was in a celebration in hell. Everytime I see drunk people getting crazy, that's what comes to mind - a celebration in hell. I hate seeing drunk people because I had a traumatic childhood experience against drunk people through someone who is close to me - my dad. When he got drunk, he will always morph into his monster or be annoying as hell by repeating what he said over and over again. And as someone sober, hearing someone talk about or even ask you about something 10x in repetition makes you want to whack that person in the face and knock them dead just to shut them up. But you can't do that, instead you would have to suffer the repetition and hope that they just fall asleep. Not only that, crimes and accidents are associated with intoxication. I still want to live a healthy and happy life, not give it up for someone's irresponsibility.
Some would really love to go to parties, but I would rather stay at home or be on a roadtrip or be at the beach on a wonderful afternoon. I want to be sober, I want to enjoy clean fun without getting someone punched in the face or maybe punching someone in the face. I want to appreciate life through a sober lifestyle and I want to appreciate space by not putting myself in a jam packed room.
I just want peace and I hope that alcohol has this ability to turn itself into water when it recognizes that the person drinking it is no longer sober. Ahh that would be peace- boredom for some. :)
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