Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad. ~Author Unknown
If you have a dad right now and still have a complete family and never saw your parents separate because of infidelity, I would like to tell you that you are LUCKY AND BLESSED. I have a family, I have a mom and I have a dad, but they are no longer together. Do you know how painful it is to see your parents separate after 17 years of marriage just because of another woman? Pain is an understatement that you get numb as years go by. But today, I am not going to talk about how bad of a father my dad was. I will instead talk about how I can remember him as my dad.
It may have been 10 years since my dad left us, but I can still remember how he was as a dad. He was a great provider and downright funny. My mom will always tell us, with the 100 stories your dad is telling you, 101 are all craziness. He was a charmer and a comedian. He was loved my almost everybody because he can get your attention with his jokes and his wit. And mind you, he will always flash his dimples when he is smiling and laughing - no wonder my mom fell in love with him back in their high school years. I got my dimples from my dad- the exact pair, that's why he can't tell the world that I am not his child. I got my brown complexion and my ASSet from him too. I got my serious side from my mom, but I got my craziness from my dad. I remember him as someone who will always bring us stuff everytime he gets home from his fieldwork. I remember him getting my brother and I cheeseballs and pringles when we requested for it. He never says no to our requests and we would always be excited to see him when he gets home. He did spoil us with our wants and as a kid that made me and my brother happy.
My father was also a huge influence in my tv viewing habits. He will always tell us to either switch the channel or turn the tv off whenever a Filipino soap opera is on 'coz he thinks it's depressing and it's all crap. We are made to watch English cartoons and National Geographic instead. He would never make us watch wrestling matches too 'coz according to him, it's all fake and scripted. He would make us watch boxing, baseball, and soccer instead. We don't watch basketball either 'coz to him it was overrated. He was controlling when it comes to tv viewing, but I was able to learn good things from his weird rules. First, I learned to practice speaking in English eversince I was a kid and I was able to use it to my own advantage when I was already working. I also know a little bit of boxing, baseball, soccer, and thank God- basketball too! I wasn't raised by my dad to just focus on make up, dolls, and fixing my hair. Because of my knowledge in sports, my husband and I get along so well when we watch games on tv or even live.
There was also a time when my front tooth was about to fall out. I never went to the dentist, instead we watched a boxing match on tv. Yes, you read it right- a boxing match. What he would do is tie a piece of thread on my loose teeth and everytime the game gets intense, he would attempt to pull it with his matching scream "Tua ra!" which means "there it goes" in English. His first attempt would always be unsuccessful, but he would ace on the second pull. It saved me and even my brother a trip to the dentist. That's 4 pieces of tooth in total and a couple of intense boxing matches.
He was also a good teacher - he taught me to memorize the multiplication table. Tell me to multiply using the finger technique and I will fail. He would show me flashcards every night and make me recite the multiplication table and run through the flash cards in 2 seconds. I still suck at math though, even if I know my multiplication table.
My dad was a disciplinarian too. He only screamed at me once for being a lazy little girl, but one piercing stare from him would make me stop the mischievous plans I have in mind. I was a difficult kid, for I would always love to break all the rules. I was also prohibited to be seen with boys in the streets. I was never close to guys until I reached college. I never had guy friends in grade school and high school 'coz my dad will get mad. I never understood it at first, but when it was my time to live on my own during college, I knew he was doing that for my own good even if it was a bit overboard.
My dad was also an artist and a musician. He can draw and paint and he is good at it. He makes my drawing assignments in high school 'coz I was too lazy to make them or it will always come out ugly when I start to do it on my own. I remember upperclassmen asking to borrow my silk screen pattern 'coz it the album cover of Pink Floyd's "The Wall". He plays the harmonica, the guitar and the flute very well. He knew art and music by heart and to me, that was just amazing.
I looked up to my dad and I respected him so much until I was 17 years old, then everything started to crumble. But on this day, I don't want to remember my dad as the evil person. I have kept that grudge for 7 years and I don't want to go through that again. Nothing can heal me and my family completely, but I know that without him I would never be the person that I am right now. Today, I want to look back at the days when he made my family and everyone around him smile, laugh, and appreciate life and its idiosyncrasies.
Papa, you may not be perfect and you may have hurt me and our family so much, but I know deep inside you have a good heart. I just want to thank you for raising me as a good person and for teaching me toughness, discipline, art, and many more. Thank you for the great times and for the lessons you taught me along the way. I forgive you for hurting me and our family, for not being there during my entire college life, and for not showing up before I left to the US and start a new life as a married woman. I opt not to be bitter, because I know there is always a reason for everything that happened. I want you to know that you will always be my Papa and I love you so much.
Happy Father's Day!
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