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(HongKong, Feb 2009)

I love watching the fireworks. Seeing the artwork against the dark skies makes me appreciate the beauty that is around us. It brings out the child in me and it sometimes makes me reminisce the great relationship I had with my family when I was a kid.

I was rebellious, but not the kind of kid who would almost kill her parents. I just love breaking rules and I always had something to say - and it is usually nasty. That was how I was as a kid. But even with such an attitude, I had a great relationship with my friends and my family. Things were great.

But it's just lately that I came to realize that my own family is put to test. Those whom I expected to back me up are the ones who are being indifferent. I moved to the States and I have felt that it was my friends, my mom, my brother, my grandparents, and some of my aunts and uncles who were supportive of my decision. But not all of my family were happy about it and I can just feel it. I don't remember doing anything wrong and doing something against them, but I just felt judged and abandoned. Those people whom I expected to just ignore me, since I haven't been really close to them were the people who welcomed me with open arms.

I know that I have a very strong personality as the eldest granddaughter on my Dad's side and the second to the eldest on my mom's side, but I don't remember interfering with anyone else's dreams in my family. I have ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS been supportive of everyone's dreams and ambitions, but I don't understand why I am being treated as the dementor.

Everything is just so complicated right now and I just hope that one day, just like watching the fireworks, my heart would be happy to see my whole family gathered as one again.

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